Repercussions

Well, that darn annual report has been shared with the parish and the phone can't stop wringing. Here are the complaints, in no particular order:

* One person did not like the photo I chose to place next to her name. She would like it to be deleted out of the computer and never used again. (She could provide me with the photos she would like me to use and then she won't have to worry about whether she likes what I happen to have available to me).

* Most people liked the format. One found it to be a waste of resources and money. It should just be on boring white paper with nothing to make the page interesting, like photos, frames to separate the different reports, etc. If each individual report is on a page by itself, they don't need fancy stuff to separate them. (Of course, if the document is one report per page it would have used a lot more paper, taken much more time to run off, and been difficult to staple together, not to mention bulky and more difficult to read, but that is beside the point).

* Not all the financial information was available--and it was not passed out at least a week in advance so the parishioners could take time to study it. (Federal law gives financial institutions until January 31 to get that information out. It has been trickling into the office since about January 15. We still do not have all the year-end statements from all the financial institutions and were darn lucky to have received enough to put together any type of report by January 24, let alone a week earlier. Besides, realistically, how many members of any church actually take the time to read the financial report, understand it, and ask questions about what they don't understand)?

* If we are expecting a lower income next year than last year, based on the pledges received, why are we bothering to send money to the diocese? (Why, indeed?!? Maybe because in order to remain a parish in any organized church you have to be able to prove you are financially able to take care of yourself. If you can't meet your fiscal obligation to the diocese you are in danger of losing parish status and becoming a mission. The bishop has the authority to assign a priest to a mission. A parish gets to choose their own priest. Since our part-time, priest-in-charge is scheduled to retire in about a year, maybe now is not a good time to give up our say in who gets the job next).

Wish I could remember all the comments, as some were pretty interesting. However, most of them were complimentary. And it is really good to work at a place where I feel that my efforts are appreciated. It's also kind of fun to laugh at the oddities while being thankful for having a job I enjoy where I get to interact with people I like.

It's all in your head

Here is the latest editorial I printed in the Spirit, which was passed out to all those attending the annual meeting today. The two parishioners who read it in advance told me they were a little insulted, as they felt it was written directly to them. The bossman told me to print it, anyway. He thinks it won't hurt them to be addressed, if they do indeed need to hear this. I am wondering whether they will call a special meeting to ask me to go away, if they are that insulted. We shall see...

We are all aware that there are triggers in our environment that bring about certain emotions. As mature adults it is up to us to determine how we display or "handle" those emotions. We think of them as being unavoidable and we may even rationalize poor behavior by stating that we, "couldn't help it," because we were upset. In fact, our society even allows a legal loophole for emotions by assigning a lesser sentence to those convicted of, "crimes of passion," than what is handed out to those whose behavior is considered, "premeditated."

The belief is that when experiencing intense emotions humans just can't control their impulses. But is that really true? Can we help it? Is our emotional center the heart, or is it really the head?

Anger is a secondary emotion, meaning it stems from another emotional source. Frequently this source is disappointment. Anger happens when expectations are different from reality. We expect others to behave in a preconceived manner: when they do not, we are disappointed and become angry.

By recognizing in advance that anger is a possible by-product of a situation, we have the ability to exert control over our behavior should anger surface. We can plan in advance to be in control: in effect, we can premeditate positive behavior.

So let us take a look around our environment. What triggers exist that might lead to negative emotions that need to be reined in? And better yet, what triggers exist that may lead to positive emotions? How can we plan to increase those triggers, thereby increasing our opportunities to react positively?

We have the power to change some of the triggers, either by making physical changes in the environment or by recognizing the precursor event and taking a preemptive stance. We can decide that when we encounter a situation that previously made us disappointed or angry that we will react according to the new plan.

For example, we can choose to be amused, rather than angered, by poor driving habits of others. We can accept that we will encounter people with questionable driving skills and therefore we will not be disappointed when they cross our paths--and we won't need to feel anger. We can crawl out of bed earlier and allow more time to drive to work or church so when we are slowed down by traffic there is leeway in our schedules.

We can realize that a spouse or child has different priorities and anticipate they will not necessarily remember to perform a task the way we want, such as pick up their shoes or shut the door quietly. We can recognize that sometimes we forget--and therefore accept that sometimes others forget. By anticipating the behavior, we can avoid anger.

And we can realize that, even in a healthy relationship, our behavior may not conform to the wishes of our loved ones at all times. We have the power to recognize behaviors in ourselves that can be adjusted to decrease the disappointment others may experience that brings about anger.

We do choose how we behave. We can practice politeness until it becomes second nature. We treat others with dignity and respect because we choose to do so. We have all heard that a man does not act the gentleman for a lady because she is a lady, but because he is a gentleman. Others do not force us to be polite--or to be rude. We do that on our own.

Maybe for Lent this year we might consider taking on the task of making considered decisions about how we act and react--and accepting control and responsibility. (This is a task I find even more difficult than giving up chocolate).

I always did prefer perennials

It's that time of year again--and I have been typing my fingers to the bone. The annual report is supposed to be ready to pass out at the annual meeting next Sunday. That means I have to coordinate all the reports submitted by all the heads of all the groups at the church. The hard part, though, is getting them to actually write and submit their portions.

The head of one committee just told me he does not intend to write a report. The head of another sent me an e-mail that stated, "I have to write a report!!?!!" I am not anticipating much from that source. The accountant is working hard on the financial statement, but is stymied by the fact he has to wait for all the banks and investment companies to mail out all their end of year statements--and the law says they have until January 31 to do so. Consequently, he has given me what he has and as new info arrives he has to revise. There will come a point when I just have to go with what is there because I have to print this 24-page document, making enough copies for all those we anticipate will be in attendance.

My favorite report so far came from the nursery. It just states that while previous years saw an average of 8-12 kids, this past year three was considered a big number. She asks the parish to, "Go forth and multiply."

While there is nothing as provocative as that written by the organist/choirmaster from another parish--discussing the "erection of the organ" that year, this group does show a sense of humor. And when they open their documents next Sunday (printed in book form with loads of photographs and graphics), I hope they enjoy what they find.

I do so hate boring.

Where is everyone?

It was brought to my attention over Christmas when family visited that my conjectures that no one reads my blog were true. Daggs admitted to not even knowing it existed. Others indicated that they have given up because of my lack of consistency in posting.

Seems like a circular problem. Few responses result in fewer entries which result in fewer reads which results in fewer responses...

So, I shall try to post a bit more frequently. And maybe this time it won't just turn into a prolonged conversation between me and Lit--one of the potential readers who is actually someone I see rather frequently and with whom I don't really need to communicate via computer (although I enjoy doing so).

We shall see. Stay tuned for more soon. Hopefully something more interesting.