Shopping Advice

I love estate sales and garage sales. Sometimes the estate sales can be especially fun just to admire the houses. Those are generally the sales where I couldn't afford to purchase anything, anyway, so I might as well enjoy the tour.

Other times I find great deals on vintage fabrics, books, or a dish that matches what I have. But sometimes I find wonderful deals on groceries. I get to try something for a quarter that I know costs $3-4 in the store--and if my family doesn't like it, I know not to waste the money in the future. And if they do like it, we've discovered a new taste treat with little risk.

But, speaking of risk, there are some rules to grocery shopping at dead people's houses:

• To begin with, check to make sure the item has never been opened. I am amazed at the large number of open boxes and bags of food stuffs that have prices similar to what you can buy new and unopened at the grocery store.
• Check the date, if the item has one.
  
• Check to make sure the item on the shelf does not read, "keep refrigerated."
• Check for damage to the packaging. Just because the previous owner never opened it does not mean no one has been inside for a munch. And maybe they and a colony of relatives are still there.

Now, using these rules, I passed up the following items at a sale just this past weekend:

• The bulging can of tomatoes. In fact, I handed it over to the woman running the sale. Carefully. It looked ready to explode at any second.
• The two boxes of "Tofu Classic" (not really a rule--I just can't imagine my family happily chowing down on the vegetarian equivalent of hamburger helper.
• The large bag of dried cranberries with the 2003 expiration date.
• The bag of cornmeal that appeared to have a corner nibbled off. It was sitting directly next to the pellets left by a rodent.
• The large can of sweet potato pie filling with the 2006 expiration date.

I have been known to bring home pudding mix, spices, canned veggies and fruits, ant killer powder for the yard, and Comet. And these were at reasonable prices--like $.25 each.

You just never know what you will find. It is like a treasure hunt.

In praise of Erma Bombeck

We recently bought a new mower. It is lightweight and electric--much easier for me to use than the old, heavy gas mower. I can push with one hand and hold the cord out of the way with the other, much like when vacuuming. I wasn't strong enough to consistently start the old mower, which I found very frustrating. (The wheel that fell off regularly was frustrating, too). I'm guessing that since it was purchased Chill and I have probably used it about equally.

The drawback is, the grass must be completely dry before you can mow. And Louisiana spring doesn't seem to cooperate very well with that concept. As a result, I didn't so much mow as bushog and I am waiting for the baler to arrive. In the front yard we have a very nice crop of white clover. In the back we have lush St. Augustine cover. This grass is new to me. I am more familiar with Kentucky Blue Grass. This has wide blades and very thick thatch. It is soft and springy under your feet, as if walking on a deep pile carpet with a thick mat beneath. Well, when it has been mowed, anyway.

As for Erma Bombeck, my experience this evening reinforced my belief that she was an intelligent woman. While I no longer live in a home with a septic tank, I can attest that the grass is greener where the dogs most frequently fertilize. And when it grows so tall it is hard for the child to locate all possible nuggets when scooping. This makes for a very aromatic mowing experience.

(For those of you who are not familiar, Ms. Bombeck wrote such classic humor as, "The Grass is Always Greener over the Septic Tank," and "If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, Why do I Always get the Pits?").

Milestones

Oyster experienced two significant milestones in one day. Yesterday we picked up her very first pair of glasses. After completing another Happy Dance in the optometrist's office and admiring herself in the mirror, she started looking around through the lenses and comparing it with what she could see over the lenses. She was fascinated by the differences and gave me a blow-by-blow account of all she encountered as we roamed the Wal-Mart in search of an item for Chill.

I got to hear all about the signs she could read from a distance, the texture in fabrics, the nuances in colors that before had seemed all one shade. She brought smiles to the faces of many shoppers, mayhap remembering their first view of the world sans blur. One lady even stopped to exclaim in wonder of the exuberance of my offspring. Luckily she displayed a sense of humor when she encountered us coming around a corner just as Oyster exclaimed, "Mommy, before I got my glasses I would not have seen the wrinkles in that lady's face!"

Which brings us to milestone number two, one I have been praying for (an plan to exploit during her teenage years). For the very first time I can recall, Oyster actually appeared to be embarrassed! She seemed to realize that her words may have been offensive to the lady in question and she stopped before actually completing the final word of the sentence.

Maybe with this new visual awareness of the world around her Oyster has developed a new insight into how she can have an affect on others. Maybe. Or maybe she will suddenly realize that other girls her age do not want to dress just like their moms and will stop insisting on such.

Who would have thunk it?

• Oyster did the Happy Dance in the optometrist's office this week. She is thrilled to need glasses, just like Mommy and Daddy. She picked frames with a cheetah print. I think it is the same as what we called tortoise shell when I was a kid--but I am content to let her believe it is a cheetah. Maybe when she can actually see them she will revise her description.
• The most popular time for a child in this household to want to be read to is bedtime. Especially when she eschewed my offer to read to her earlier and opted to watch television instead. She did not do the happy dance when I declined her kind offer to let her stay up late while I read aloud.
• Right now she is watching television, even though she agreed that once her homework was done we would read together. I anticipate she will again be disappointed at lights-out time when she asks me to read aloud.
• Lawns do not mow themselves. Floors do not sweep themselves. Cats do not clean up after themselves. And children do not use soap in their bath without direct supervision. But if anyone knows of a spell I can use to make any of this this happen, please forward it. I would be forever in your debt.
• And, despite what may appear to be grousing in the previous points, I feel quite lucky to have landed in my current life. My family is wonderful and fun and I feel very loved. I really enjoy my job--especially post-Easter Day! The work-load certainly decreased when Holy Week came to completion. The new house is much nicer than the old and we are making changes to get it to better meet our needs. I may even get that front flower bed looking nice someday soon!