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It's incredible how much I miss the Chapel. I've heard so many people over the years say they couldn't find a church after leaving because nothing matched their experience at the Chapel. Well, I've discovered there is a difference between cognitive understanding of that statement and living it.
It is much more than missing traditions. It's even more than missing the service. I've found a place where the service music chosen for most Sundays uses all my favorites. The choir, however, is nowhere near the professionalism of the one at the Chapel. There are sometimes only 3-4 members at a service, but they sing an anthem, anyway. They get high marks for enthusiasm, if not for talent.
But that's not it, either. The Chapel was home for 23 years and I honestly expected it to be a constant in my life until I passed away of old age in many more decades. (Okay--or until one of my clients did me in when I enforced his probation conditions). While I am absolutely certain I made a fantastic decision in marrying and moving, I still miss the Chapel.
I miss all the wonderful people--those with whom I shared close friendships, godchildren, good times, and bad. So, while I am not consciously making comparisons, I recognize that I left behind something very special. And I'll keep trying to find something comparable down here.
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jewel tones was the theme
5 comments:
My experience has been that certain church "homes" are like certain vacations: one is outstanding because it wraps us in such wonderful experiences. Maybe we shouldn't even try to compare them; each one is good and unique in its own right. Yet none is perfect except in our memory of it. I never wanted to revisit my best vacation spot for fear it wouldn't match the perfection I felt it to be.
I've never read Thomas Wolf; is that what he meant by, "You can't go home again,"?
That was a story about growing up and losing innocence. Although things may not change, you have changed and you will view home differently than you did before. Or at least that was the answer that got me an A on the test in college.
These days, if someone were to ask me if I go to church, I would tell them yes: I go to church 20 years ago in a place far away that is dear to my heart. There is no replacing it. There are only memories, good and bad, and new things things in life to look forward to experiencing.
I SO TOTALLY know what you mean, having moved away from the chapel twice. And returned. Twice. The last time we found a place that, while not measuring up in all aspects, would have proven a decent alterntive. It can be done. I am convinced now that it doesn't have to be an Anglican church (that's my preference but I've broadened my views a bit). It may take some time though. Be patient. And remember that you are still a member of the chapel - they're/we're still there for you when needed. Holidays are difficult though. I do get it. Peace.
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