Different viewpoints

We are 2-1/2 months away from our third anniversary, and Chill and I have never really had a fight. We don't always agree, but so far there has not been a disagreement where we both felt so strongly about our positions that we were unable to find an acceptable solution.

There are some things that we view differently that are not likely to change. For example, the food I love most to cook and to eat is bread. I married a guy who could happily forgo bread at most meals. To him, bread is for keeping the mayo and meat off your hands when you eat a sandwich.

Then there are meal times. Before we married Chill often ate no meal until he got home from work in the evening. Breakfast was a never meal and lunch occurred if a buddy showed up with something. Efforts to seek out a mid-day meal were pretty much non-existent. I, on the other hand, ate four meals daily and at pretty much the same time each day. It keeps my blood sugar more consistent. And I snack in between, too.

I have adjusted the time of day that I eat so that I can have a snack when Oyster comes home in the afternoon and supper with Chill after he gets home in the late evening. He still skips breakfast, but he dutifully eats the sandwich I prepare for him most weekdays. We generally share a meal as a family between church and his opening the shop on Sundays.

But then there is how we view lawn care. Chill sees it as a battle that must be waged to keep everything neat and tidy. He likes order and he hates for he plants to fight back. Trees that I see with graceful branches reaching out to drape across the landscaping he views as adversaries out to slap him in the face as he mows. I like the wild and untamed landscaping of wildflowers and ground cover without straight lines or symmetry. I've been trying to teach Oyster the difference between balance and symmetry. Balance is more pleasing to the eye and less boring.

As a compromise, I am trying to limit my planting to the edges of the lawn--up against the fence, close to the walk-way, and near the front of the house. I've also put in a few things around the trees (where previous residents left perennials). And Chill has asked me to point out what I would like to survive the battle when he mows or uses the weed eater. While we may never truly agree about which landscaping rules are the most important--we are both making an effort to see the other person's point of view.